Aside December 31, 2020 March 18, 2021

Hello World! Or rather, Hello blog. It’s been months since I was last active on anything. Things that used to bring me tidbits of joy didn’t have the effect they used to have. Quite the opposite, in fact. Nothing but stress.

I only made 1 post last year as 2019 has been a very bad year for me. The ever-present mental and emotional anguish is there but this time with the addition of a deteriorating physical health. So I took a big sleep from everything in hopes that I’d feel recharged with energy and passion but I was wrong. It’s as if the batteries are dead.

Then 2020 happened. A terrible year for the entire globe, in fact. Cooped up at home, I wasn’t able to ride my bike and explore. Depression without physical exercise is a bad combination and I am now the heaviest I’ve ever been. I get dizzy constantly and am fatigued most of the time. With my family’s history of diabetes, I’m not feeling quite optimistic.

Making things worse, our dog Chico suddenly disappeared last November. He suffered a stroke years back and can’t walk properly. I’d like to think that he’s been taken in by another family instead of the more likely scenario that he simply died somewhere. Now his brother Dino is all by his lonesome.

Now with all of this going on, instead of looking forward to a happy and prosperous future, I find myself day-dreaming and reminiscing of the past. They weren’t all good memories but at least there was happiness. It’s now December 31 and in a couple of hours this year will end. Will things change? I don’t know.

#my-blog-my-rant #diary